Deal with the shit on the track... and other things I’ve learned from roller derby.
1. The bout is more important than your drama.
No. Seriously. League drama. Team drama. Interpersonal drama. None of it matters during the bout. The upcoming jam is the most important those skaters will ever play (until the next jam) and it is your responsibility to do your best.
While you’re seething about having to work with that b*tch who talked smack about you last time you worked together, everyone else is wondering why you all don’t have your shit together. Seriously - the bout is more important than your drama.
2. Put your ego aside.
Confidence is important, condescending arrogance is not. Don’t treat the other officials like crap. Don’t talk down to anyone. Never, EVER treat NSOs like second-class citizens. More NSOs are required than refs. They work hard. You think reffing is thankless? Everyone forgets the NSOs. If you aren’t thanking them after bouts, you can be sure the teams aren’t either. Don’t be that putz. Just don’t.
3. Deal with the shit.
This really happened to me during a practice: A skater had forgotten a dog’s fecal sample in her pocket and when she got hit, the bag smeared across the track. The skaters stared at it as if it was going to grow legs and try to eat them. I ended up getting paper towels to wipe it up.
This holds true for emotional shit, as well. You or the head ref needs to get the metaphorical paper towels and wipe that shit up before it gets all over your derby. You deal with it so that the bout (or scrimmage practice) keeps going.
4. Don’t lose your temper.
If you’ve lost your temper during a bout, tell yourself that it was a judgement lapse. You get one. If you lose your temper more than once, ever, then the derby officiating community has failed you. We police our own. We are harder on each other and ourselves than skaters can ever be. De-escalate problems, don’t make them worse, ‘cause when shit hits the fan, you don’t want to be the person who threw it.
5. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Staying awake at night about that call you missed doesn’t help. Get some sleep so that you can be better and more focused the next time. Keep a journal of the lessons you’ve learned or the things you hope to remember for next time. Writing it down helps get that sort of crap out of your head.
6. Tell the people around you when they’ve done a good job.
Let people know you appreciate them. Telling a ref that he or she made a good call or the penalty trackers that they are rocking their jobs makes them feel more confident. Jam refs should nod or smile at their scorekeepers during timeouts. Wranglers, Penalty Trackers, whiteboards should hear how much you appreciate their quick response. Ignoring your lineup trackers and penalty box workers is a BS move because they know before you do if there’s a problem with how many skaters are on the track. Don’t shout at them when they try to get your attention. And let them know that you appreciate their help.
Note: Be sincere with your appreciation. (And if you have to, use the times they got it right to reinforce what should be happening.)
7. Don’t assume the worst.
That official that you hate, or you think hates you, probably isn’t being sarcastic when they say “Good call” during a jam. Don’t assume that skaters are swearing at you (unless they say “you”) and don’t assume that the little snippets of conversation you hear as you’re heading to the locker room at the half are about you/the refs/your crew. You’ll just work yourself up over things you can’t control and that’s a crappy place to be.
8. Learn the difference between criticism and constructive criticism.
Read books (or other resources) on how to give feedback. If you can’t take this step, then don’t be that obnoxious shit-head who gives unsolicited feedback in a way that makes everyone want to shank you in the parking lot. Also, don’t assume that newer officials don’t have good feedback for more experienced officials.
Simple respect for time, tone, and circumstance can go a long way in making sure your brilliant nugget of information is accepted for the gold that it is.
9. Learn the wetworks.
Officiating isn’t all about the rules, standard procedures, and hand signals. Learn how to interact with the 50+ people that make a bout work. Know your EMTs and volunteers. Don’t BS yourself or others about your ability to handle this. The best officials know how to interact with all the humans without getting angry.
10. Have a sense of humor.
Officiating is serious business and shenanigans aren’t appreciated, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a sense of humor. Be approachable during meetings and halftime (even if you aren’t HR or HNSO). Accept that other officials may be more vulgar, extroverted, or dance-y than you. Let people express themselves in whatever (annoyingly loud, craptastic) way works best for them, as long as it happens at the right time.
If you’re being Judgy McJudgypants from Judgeville, then you’re not doing it right.
11. Be the helpful person you want other people to be.
No job is too small for you. In fact, the jobs everyone hates are the one that need to be done. (See #3) Not a part of this particular time out? Check with the Head Ref then go help fix the track tape. See sweat on the track? Find a towel and either wipe it up or ask the benches to do it. Don’t expect NSOs to get down on their knees and wipe up sweat if you aren’t willing to do the same. (For blood and fecal matter, please check with EMTs.)
12. Stop complaining
It turns out that “blowing off steam” and “venting” may not actually make you feel better. It definitely makes the people around you feel uncomfortable. Keep it to yourself. You can rant all you want when you are home, alone, in the shower, with really loud music, and no one else can hear you. If things aren’t working, then figure out how to make them work. When shit gets real, you want to be counted on to help, not sit back and complain.
1. The bout is more important than your drama.
No. Seriously. League drama. Team drama. Interpersonal drama. None of it matters during the bout. The upcoming jam is the most important those skaters will ever play (until the next jam) and it is your responsibility to do your best.
While you’re seething about having to work with that b*tch who talked smack about you last time you worked together, everyone else is wondering why you all don’t have your shit together. Seriously - the bout is more important than your drama.
2. Put your ego aside.
Confidence is important, condescending arrogance is not. Don’t treat the other officials like crap. Don’t talk down to anyone. Never, EVER treat NSOs like second-class citizens. More NSOs are required than refs. They work hard. You think reffing is thankless? Everyone forgets the NSOs. If you aren’t thanking them after bouts, you can be sure the teams aren’t either. Don’t be that putz. Just don’t.
3. Deal with the shit.
This really happened to me during a practice: A skater had forgotten a dog’s fecal sample in her pocket and when she got hit, the bag smeared across the track. The skaters stared at it as if it was going to grow legs and try to eat them. I ended up getting paper towels to wipe it up.
This holds true for emotional shit, as well. You or the head ref needs to get the metaphorical paper towels and wipe that shit up before it gets all over your derby. You deal with it so that the bout (or scrimmage practice) keeps going.
4. Don’t lose your temper.
If you’ve lost your temper during a bout, tell yourself that it was a judgement lapse. You get one. If you lose your temper more than once, ever, then the derby officiating community has failed you. We police our own. We are harder on each other and ourselves than skaters can ever be. De-escalate problems, don’t make them worse, ‘cause when shit hits the fan, you don’t want to be the person who threw it.
5. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Staying awake at night about that call you missed doesn’t help. Get some sleep so that you can be better and more focused the next time. Keep a journal of the lessons you’ve learned or the things you hope to remember for next time. Writing it down helps get that sort of crap out of your head.
6. Tell the people around you when they’ve done a good job.
Let people know you appreciate them. Telling a ref that he or she made a good call or the penalty trackers that they are rocking their jobs makes them feel more confident. Jam refs should nod or smile at their scorekeepers during timeouts. Wranglers, Penalty Trackers, whiteboards should hear how much you appreciate their quick response. Ignoring your lineup trackers and penalty box workers is a BS move because they know before you do if there’s a problem with how many skaters are on the track. Don’t shout at them when they try to get your attention. And let them know that you appreciate their help.
Note: Be sincere with your appreciation. (And if you have to, use the times they got it right to reinforce what should be happening.)
7. Don’t assume the worst.
That official that you hate, or you think hates you, probably isn’t being sarcastic when they say “Good call” during a jam. Don’t assume that skaters are swearing at you (unless they say “you”) and don’t assume that the little snippets of conversation you hear as you’re heading to the locker room at the half are about you/the refs/your crew. You’ll just work yourself up over things you can’t control and that’s a crappy place to be.
8. Learn the difference between criticism and constructive criticism.
Read books (or other resources) on how to give feedback. If you can’t take this step, then don’t be that obnoxious shit-head who gives unsolicited feedback in a way that makes everyone want to shank you in the parking lot. Also, don’t assume that newer officials don’t have good feedback for more experienced officials.
Simple respect for time, tone, and circumstance can go a long way in making sure your brilliant nugget of information is accepted for the gold that it is.
9. Learn the wetworks.
Officiating isn’t all about the rules, standard procedures, and hand signals. Learn how to interact with the 50+ people that make a bout work. Know your EMTs and volunteers. Don’t BS yourself or others about your ability to handle this. The best officials know how to interact with all the humans without getting angry.
10. Have a sense of humor.
Officiating is serious business and shenanigans aren’t appreciated, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a sense of humor. Be approachable during meetings and halftime (even if you aren’t HR or HNSO). Accept that other officials may be more vulgar, extroverted, or dance-y than you. Let people express themselves in whatever (annoyingly loud, craptastic) way works best for them, as long as it happens at the right time.
If you’re being Judgy McJudgypants from Judgeville, then you’re not doing it right.
11. Be the helpful person you want other people to be.
No job is too small for you. In fact, the jobs everyone hates are the one that need to be done. (See #3) Not a part of this particular time out? Check with the Head Ref then go help fix the track tape. See sweat on the track? Find a towel and either wipe it up or ask the benches to do it. Don’t expect NSOs to get down on their knees and wipe up sweat if you aren’t willing to do the same. (For blood and fecal matter, please check with EMTs.)
12. Stop complaining
It turns out that “blowing off steam” and “venting” may not actually make you feel better. It definitely makes the people around you feel uncomfortable. Keep it to yourself. You can rant all you want when you are home, alone, in the shower, with really loud music, and no one else can hear you. If things aren’t working, then figure out how to make them work. When shit gets real, you want to be counted on to help, not sit back and complain.
