Guest post from Lethe L. Ejection

Deal with the shit on the track... and other things I’ve learned from roller derby.

1. The bout is more important than your drama.

No. Seriously. League drama. Team drama. Interpersonal drama. None of it matters during the bout. The upcoming jam is the most important those skaters will ever play (until the next jam) and it is your responsibility to do your best.

While you’re seething about having to work with that b*tch who talked smack about you last time you worked together, everyone else is wondering why you all don’t have your shit together. Seriously - the bout is more important than your drama.

2. Put your ego aside.

Confidence is important, condescending arrogance is not. Don’t treat the other officials like crap. Don’t talk down to anyone. Never, EVER treat NSOs like second-class citizens. More NSOs are required than refs. They work hard. You think reffing is thankless? Everyone forgets the NSOs. If you aren’t thanking them after bouts, you can be sure the teams aren’t either. Don’t be that putz. Just don’t.

3. Deal with the shit.

This really happened to me during a practice: A skater had forgotten a dog’s fecal sample in her pocket and when she got hit, the bag smeared across the track. The skaters stared at it as if it was going to grow legs and try to eat them. I ended up getting paper towels to wipe it up.

This holds true for emotional shit, as well. You or the head ref needs to get the metaphorical paper towels and wipe that shit up before it gets all over your derby. You deal with it so that the bout (or scrimmage practice) keeps going.

4. Don’t lose your temper.

If you’ve lost your temper during a bout, tell yourself that it was a judgement lapse. You get one. If you lose your temper more than once, ever, then the derby officiating community has failed you. We police our own. We are harder on each other and ourselves than skaters can ever be. De-escalate problems, don’t make them worse, ‘cause when shit hits the fan, you don’t want to be the person who threw it.

5. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Staying awake at night about that call you missed doesn’t help. Get some sleep so that you can be better and more focused the next time. Keep a journal of the lessons you’ve learned or the things you hope to remember for next time. Writing it down helps get that sort of crap out of your head.

6. Tell the people around you when they’ve done a good job.

Let people know you appreciate them. Telling a ref that he or she made a good call or the penalty trackers that they are rocking their jobs makes them feel more confident. Jam refs should nod or smile at their scorekeepers during timeouts. Wranglers, Penalty Trackers, whiteboards should hear how much you appreciate their quick response. Ignoring your lineup trackers and penalty box workers is a BS move because they know before you do if there’s a problem with how many skaters are on the track. Don’t shout at them when they try to get your attention. And let them know that you appreciate their help.

Note: Be sincere with your appreciation. (And if you have to, use the times they got it right to reinforce what should be happening.)

7. Don’t assume the worst.

That official that you hate, or you think hates you, probably isn’t being sarcastic when they say “Good call” during a jam. Don’t assume that skaters are swearing at you (unless they say “you”) and don’t assume that the little snippets of conversation you hear as you’re heading to the locker room at the half are about you/the refs/your crew. You’ll just work yourself up over things you can’t control and that’s a crappy place to be.

8. Learn the difference between criticism and constructive criticism.

Read books (or other resources) on how to give feedback. If you can’t take this step, then don’t be that obnoxious shit-head who gives unsolicited feedback in a way that makes everyone want to shank you in the parking lot. Also, don’t assume that newer officials don’t have good feedback for more experienced officials.

Simple respect for time, tone, and circumstance can go a long way in making sure your brilliant nugget of information is accepted for the gold that it is.

9. Learn the wetworks.

Officiating isn’t all about the rules, standard procedures, and hand signals. Learn how to interact with the 50+ people that make a bout work. Know your EMTs and volunteers. Don’t BS yourself or others about your ability to handle this. The best officials know how to interact with all the humans without getting angry.

10. Have a sense of humor.

Officiating is serious business and shenanigans aren’t appreciated, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a sense of humor. Be approachable during meetings and halftime (even if you aren’t HR or HNSO). Accept that other officials may be more vulgar, extroverted, or dance-y than you. Let people express themselves in whatever (annoyingly loud, craptastic) way works best for them, as long as it happens at the right time.

If you’re being Judgy McJudgypants from Judgeville, then you’re not doing it right.


11. Be the helpful person you want other people to be.

No job is too small for you. In fact, the jobs everyone hates are the one that need to be done. (See #3) Not a part of this particular time out? Check with the Head Ref then go help fix the track tape. See sweat on the track? Find a towel and either wipe it up or ask the benches to do it. Don’t expect NSOs to get down on their knees and wipe up sweat if you aren’t willing to do the same. (For blood and fecal matter, please check with EMTs.)


12. Stop complaining

It turns out that “blowing off steam” and “venting” may not actually make you feel better. It definitely makes the people around you feel uncomfortable. Keep it to yourself. You can rant all you want when you are home, alone, in the shower, with really loud music, and no one else can hear you. If things aren’t working, then figure out how to make them work. When shit gets real, you want to be counted on to help, not sit back and complain.

Oh, the sordid topic of coin!

It's been a week since I sent a difficult email, and while most of the responses were roughly what I expected, there were a couple that surprised me emotionally. It's worth some time to expound on it a little.

In case you missed it...

Dear derby friends,

I am trying two new strategies this year in the perpetual battle for sanity through peak derby season.

First, I'm making my calendar public. If you use Google Calendar, you can add derby.flu@gmail.com and see what I have booked. I haven't filled in everything later in the year, but it's got stuff I've committed to for the next few months, and I'll be trying to keep it up to date.

Second, as much as I love working with all of you, I can't go see all of you as often as I did last year unless someone pays for my travel. I'm setting my reimbursement rate for regular bouts and double headers at $10 per 50 miles, which will cover gas and tolls if neither skyrockets unexpectedly this year. I'm always happy to carpool (especially with Bettie, but there are many other talented officials nearby) to make it worth your leagues' money.

Those of you who want to work with Bettie but don't want to pay my exorbitant prices can work out your own deal with her, of course. :)

See you around the track!

In general, the leagues I work with often have responded positively, or at least sympathetically. Many already offer a travel stipend, though in some cases I'll be asking for more money because their customary rate doesn't actually cover my travel. (Sometimes, not even one way.) I think the weird part is the asking (well, demanding), not the amount.

I suspect I'll get fewer invitations to work far-flung bouts. That's okay too; I have a hard time saying no, and I spent too much time on the road last year.

A few of you came to me with specific questions. I answered a lot of them privately, but I got a repeat and decided a public post might help settle things a little better.

Curiously, no one's said anything about the calendar, though one league did share their internal officiating calendar with me.

 

Which leagues have to pay, and for what kinds of events?

First, I want to point out that I sent the email to a bunch of individuals who I expected to hear from as part of the bout staffing negotiation from their respective leagues (or who will know who to pass it on to, as these things sometimes change), not as the individuals themselves. I'm sorry about any confusion there.

CT RollerGirls is my home league. By providing me with the benefits of membership as an official there, they've covered my travel to all their home bouts. Among those benefits is their policy to pay my travel expenses when I go with them to an away bout. If they're paying, you don't have to.

Not every league does that for their officials, but I like it as a policy and am using it as my model. I will occasionally travel with other leagues as if I were one of their refs; I expect they will make the arrangement to cover my travel expense, and I don't care whether they supply the money wholly on their own or share the cost with the host league.

Scrimmages are part of my professional development, and my expenses are not the responsibility of the host league. Tournaments (from WFTDA Playoffs and ECDX down to the smaller regional things like ESS and All 8) are similarly exempt; I apply knowing that I will be there on my own dime.

Closed/private bouts are trickier, especially as the line is blurred between a closed bout and a big, formal scrimmage. My rule of thumb is this: if you're calling it a bout, so am I.

 

We can't afford you, but we really like having you. Is there any way we can convince you to come help us for less/free/beer/homemade chocolate chip cookies/our undying gratitude/whatever?

Vertical stripes are not very slimming; please don't offer to pay me in homemade chocolate chip cookies. Or beer.

I came up with $10 per 50 miles by looking at the average cost of gas, the approximate mileage of my car, and the tolls I pay to go to most nearby leagues. Then I rounded up a little to make a friendly number that I could keep all year, because my cost estimate doesn't account for carpool weight affecting mileage and assumes the price of gas won't go up.

I have a little room to negotiate between my asking rate and my actual expenses, especially for leagues that don't have toll roads between here and there. I've sketched out some real-cost estimates, and only found one case where my rate is more than about $10 high. If that $5 or $10 really makes the difference for your league, you can ask, and I'll consider it on a bout by bout basis. I'm about to drop $400 on car repairs next week, though; don't hold your breath. And when the price of gas goes up in summer, that wiggle room goes away.

To those leagues that already offer a stipend to officials (thank you!), what do you feel you're paying for: their time, their travel, or both? I'm not setting any price on my time. It's there for free if you'll cover my travel (but I still won't turn down extra cash, of course). As I suggested in the original email, make a similar deal with someone who lives near me, and the travel cost looks a lot easier spread across 2 or 3 officials.

One trusted friend pointed out that there's a subtle difference between saying I can't go without money or I won't go without money, and some aspect of professionalism hangs in the difference. I mean "can't", not because any one particular bout would put me in financial trouble, but because all of them together would, and I have to draw the line somewhere. We who staff our leagues' home bouts talk to each other too much for me to play favorites.

For the record, "Ian, we can get so-and-so to give you a ride if you'll come for free" is probably not going to work. Whoever's providing the transportation gets the money for hauling me around, even if they are willing to do it for less than I'm asking. The cost of my participation is to cover the travel expense of me and everyone with me at a rate I consider fair. Trying to negotiate like this tells me you don't think all of us together are worth that much money.

 

What if, philosophically, we were paying you exclusively for your time and don't care about your travel?

That's far more mercenary than what I've proposed, and it raises some serious ethical issues. I don't care how your league justifies the expense internally, of course, but I need it to be clear you're not paying me to make calls (and certainly not in favor of one team or the other), you're covering the cost of me getting to and from your venue so I can be objective and fair, and any extra goes back to fund my tournament habit.

For a while last year, I considered setting up Ian Fluenza as a consulting business. I killed the idea when I looked at what I'd have to charge for my time and travel. I figure my skilled labor is worth a good bit more than minimum wage, and the current federal mileage reimbursement rate is 56.5 cents per mile (that's $28.25 for 50 miles, to compare, and it doesn't include tolls).

 

What if a league pays you and no one else?

Leagues are free to make whatever arrangements they want with other officials. Is it awkward if they hand me a pile of cash in front of the others? Not for me, but I'd feel really bad for the league representative who had to do that.

 

Are you saying every official should do this?

The current state of roller derby is not a good environment to expect to make money as an official. If that's why you're here, you're in the wrong place.

Every official should evaluate the time and money it takes to stay involved, and weigh it against the personal enjoyment and any financial goals they have for themselves. As much as I complain about the general lack of officials, I'd rather have a few people who are sustainably happy than a bunch of people who are grumpy because they're not getting their money's worth in fun. Make your own policy, and if I ask you to help me at CTRG, I'll take your requests to my league leadership in good faith.

I still really enjoy officiating, and I intend to keep it that way. That was threatened when it started to impact my personal finances in a way that wasn't sustainable. So this is how I'm trying to find a new balance. It is an experiment. It might fail, but I need to know that, too.

Personally, I hope it succeeds and spreads. It helps make continued involvement possible for people we don't want to lose (I hope you consider me among them), and it creates a financial incentive for leagues to keep thinking about recruitment, training, and retention of their own officials, despite the fact that all three of those are almost intractably difficult.